Drea Kelly Opens Up About Life, Love and Reality TV

08 Jul, 2013

As the stand-out star of VH1’s hit reality show Hollywood Exes, Drea Kelly sent us all checking our email with catch phrases, a winning smile and yes, baby hair.  The energy surrounding her is undeniable.  She’s the girlfriend you love to hang with, your kids’ favorite aunt and now our ‘sister-friend’ from around the way-that way being the south side of Chicago.

The two things that make her the happiest and can guarantee an instant glow are her 3 children, most affectionately called her ‘love thangs’ and dance.

During a break in filming, The Trending Report met with Kelly at the W hotel along Chicago’s lakefront.

Instantly it was clear that the persona reflected on the show is Kelly in her natural state.  She was welcoming and unpretentious.  “I’m a, what you see is what you get type of girl” Kelly said.  “I don’t know how to be anything else.  I don’t know how to be phony-that’s too much work.”

I didn’t have to ask about Kelly’s dance background to know the role it plays in her life.  During our hour long conversation, she sat straight with ease.  Head high, shoulders back, her lean body elongated.  The muscles in her arms protruded with each movement.   It was clear that her passion for dance had been a lifelong journey that wasn’t acquired but chosen.

“My family said before I could walk, I crawled over to the TV while Soul Train was on, pulled myself up with my bottle still in my mouth, and when the music came on I was dancing to the beat.  It went to commercial and they say I put my hands on the television like the movie Portuguese because I wanted more.”

“I’ve been dancing ever since.  I really believe dance chose me” Kelly said.

Ironically, it’s her passion for dance that would be the constant thread in her life that unraveled with heartbreak and held her together during triumph.

For 12 years Kelly was married to R&B superstar R. Kelly and for the most part, no one knew.  “I was like Santa Claus” Kelly says of her anonymity.  “Everyone knows he drops off the gifts but no one ever see’s it happening.”  While it was a “somewhat” conscience decision for her to stay in the background it proved to be a double-edged sword.  “I thank God I was able to take my kids to the zoo.  I could go to the grocery store with no make-up on.  I could live a somewhat normal life.”

“It was a blessing and a curse” Kelly continues.  “Because when I did come out of the shadows it was like, you’re who?  Everyone was like what do you mean, when did that happen?  You take it with a grain of salt.  You learn from it.  People ask how do I feel about it and I say a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.  I don’t blame him.  You have to stand up for what you believe in and you have to stand firm on that.  Even if that means that you have to walk away-walk away with your whole self but don’t stay and be broken.”

Kelly chose her complete self.  You have to wonder if R. Kelly’s ode to a woman scorned, “When a Woman’s Fed Up” is personal.  When Drea Kelly was finally fed up, she threw her $50,000 ring to the bottom of the pool and walked away from her marriage.

“I sure did…and I didn’t blink” Kelly said.  While it was unintentional that Kelly is the Hollywood Ex to toss a diamond ring in the intro to the show, you can’t help but see the irony.

Yet, the appeal of Vh1’s Hollywood Exes isn’t the drama-filled antics of high-profile women.   “It’s not a show about our exes and why we got divorced” Kelly said.  “It’s a show about our exes and why they married us in the first place.”

“You see that we are dynamic women, we are entrepreneurs, we are mothers, we are god-fearing, and we are leaders in our community. Did you think that we were just airheads and they just randomly decided to marry us?”

“Our show really exemplifies, women need women” Kelly said.  “We are so brainwashed by the media to believe that women can’t get along, they cat fight, they back-bite, they will steal your man, they are not supportive and that’s not true.  That’s one side of the coin. I get that and it does exist.  But there are women out here that have a true sisterhood and our show reflects that.”

“We don’t get along all the time and we have arguments but we always stick together and we are always there for each other. We will fight for each other but we will not fight each other” Kelly contends.

Being on the show has helped Kelly launch her new life.  “Most people only get one chance at life and I feel like I get to do me twice” Kelly said.  “Now I get to do it my way.  I’m smarter, I’m wiser and I have no room for BS.  So all around I think it was a win-win situation. Would I do it the same-absolutely, if it means I would still be in this position today.”

Kelly is sharing her experiences in a new book ‘Under the Red Carpet.’  “I say ‘under’ because I think we are raising a generation with no foundation.  Its so many young girls thinking if I just get that ball player, if I just get that singer, if I just get that rapper…and what they don’t understand is that there’s a price for everything and a cost.  I want them to understand what’s under the red carpet isn’t that great” Kelly said.

“When you see us smiling and laughing you don’t know what we have had to go through from illegitimate children coming along, to tabloids, rumors and lawsuits.  There’s a price and a cost and sometimes the cost it too much. And no one wants to tell that truth.”

“Because I lived it, I went through it and I survived it, I feel like it’s my duty to share- so that other women that maybe are already in it, they’ll have a way out.  If Drea Kelly can leave R. Kelly I can leave too. You’re doing far more for far less.  I want women to have something to read and learn.”

“This is not a bash my ex.  This is not a tell-all” Kelly proclaims.  “I will never write anything like that because at the end of the day we are still a family.  We are bonded forever.  We have children.  This is about helping women to be strong because if I can do it on this grand scale with the world watching then you better know you can do it for you.”

The end of filming the show was also the start of a new relationship for Kelly. “I’m in the airport just sitting there when we met and I said its true what everyone says.  When you’re not looking, that’s when it finds you. I never gave up on love itself but I did give up on dating and being hooked up.  I thank God that after it all, I wasn’t jaded and I still believed in love.”

With a hit show, a book deal (a release date has not been set) and a new love interest, Kelly is definitely living on her own terms.  For those who are still asking, ‘Who is Drea Kelly?’ Drea Kelly is a woman whose DREAms are coming true.

B. Spencer

Mentioned In This Post: @DreaKelly